Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should
Choosing alignment over ambition — and finding real success in the process.
A few years ago, during a major transition in my life, I started working with a career coach. I was moving away from Big Law, navigating the uncertainty of the pandemic, and juggling life at home with a playful, endlessly busy three-year-old — in short, life was LIFING. I knew I needed someone to help me realign with the future I was trying to build.
My coach, who specialized in working with ambitious women of color navigating a unique set of pressures and fears, was insightful — and, thankfully, always kept it real. Every time I came to her with a shiny new opportunity — a project, a side gig, a leadership role — she would listen patiently, then pause and ask me the same question: "How does this align with the goals you gave me?"
When I would fumble through an answer, she’d kindly deliver the line that has been seared into my mind ever since: "Just because you can doesn't mean you should."
At the time, it felt a little harsh. I’ve always prided myself on being a "yes" person — open to opportunity, eager to stretch and learn — a typical perfectionist who believed that if I could do something well, I should. But what she helped me see is that not every opportunity, no matter how shiny, serves the larger vision you’ve set for yourself. Some are detours in disguise.
Recently, I was reminded of this lesson in a big way. I was humbled to be offered a compelling opportunity: a high-visibility ethics role supporting the state of South Carolina. It checked classic "impressive opportunity" boxes—meaningful subject matter, the ability to shape important conversations, and a chance to "make an impact."
After a couple of weeks of mulling it over—and even beginning the paperwork for the appointment—I realized that while it was a great role, it wasn’t the right role for me.
It would have pulled me away from the work that energizes me most. It would have tied me more tightly to an area of expertise that, while important, isn't the core of what I want to build long-term. It would have required travel, taking precious time away from my little ones. It would have taken me off course — even if it looked like an enviable course from the outside.
Ultimately, I said no.
It was hard — it always is. But every time I say no to something that isn't a fit, I'm really saying yes: yes to my goals, yes to the life I want to build, yes to myself.
How I Evaluate New Opportunities
If you’re facing a decision — whether it’s a new job, a board seat, a "quick favor" project — here are a few tips that have helped me evaluate opportunities more clearly:
1. Go back to your goals.
Ask yourself: What did you say you wanted to build? Does this opportunity get you closer to that, or is it a distraction (even a glamorous one)?
2. Check your energy.
Ask yourself: Does thinking about this opportunity light you up or weigh you down?
Your gut is smarter than you think. I once had a friend say, "If it's not an absolute yes, it's a no." That simple rule has saved me from saying yes to things that only "kind of" excited me — and that clarity is a gift.
3. Separate the opportunity from the optics.
Ask yourself: Are you drawn to how this opportunity looks — or how it will actually feel? Will it help you grow in ways that truly matter to you?
4. Consider the trade-offs.
Ask yourself: What am I giving up if I say yes? Time, energy, focus, or something else that matters?
5. Give yourself permission to say no.
Remind yourself: Protecting your path doesn’t require an explanation.
A simple "This isn't the right fit for me right now" is enough.
The world will always present new paths, but not every road is yours to travel. The more you trust yourself, the easier it becomes to walk away from what isn’t meant for you. Protecting your vision means having the courage to choose what builds you up, not just what moves you forward — and trusting that what’s right for you will feel like alignment, not sacrifice.
At the end of the day, just because you can... doesn't mean you should.
x Jasmine
Have you ever had to say no to an opportunity that looked perfect on paper but didn’t align with your deeper goals? I’d love to hear your story. Feel free to reply or leave a comment.
As always, thanks for reading and supporting my little corner of the internet. It means the world.
❤️ If you enjoyed this post, tap the like button below and drop a comment—I’d love to hear from you!
🔗 Or, if you know someone who’d enjoy this post, please consider sharing it with them!
Facts 🗣️💯
So true!